Interesting start to the day. TL;DR - power socket to the dash, and ignition sabotaged.
After I arose in the morning, and had my cuppa char I went to the car. My intent, obviously, was to head outdoors. There were several items on the list to do.
As the saying goes, man proposes, god disposes; the car wouldn't start. Not a click from the starter, not even the faint whirr as the petrol pump sucked petrol from the tank and sent it on it's way to the injectors. I was surprised. The battery being relatively new, there appeared no reason for it's sudden demise.
To add fat to the fire, my multimeter battery too gave up the ghost. I threw my arms up, then did what any sane person would do. I dug out the battery papers, to confirm the battery was in warranty. Then I placed a call to the battery company for support.
The support staff turned up - with tools. He hauled with him a gigantic battery - perhaps to be using in a tank. He also had the thickest pair of jumper cables I ever laid my eyes upon; as thick as my wrist! But when he looked with his multimeter at my battery his eyebrows - as incongruously bushy as his glistening bald pate wasn't - went up. "12.6V. The battery is fine", he pronounced, continuing to set up the jumper cables - positive to positive, negative to body. Then he tried the starter.
The first miracle; hardly ever does a problem with a car duplicate itself in the presence of a mechanic. Not only did the problem I faced duplicate itself, it made it's cause fairly obvious. There was no power to the dashboard, or to the ignition. He was more observant than I; I apologised. He kindly refused recompense for his effort, and went his way.
My thoughts caught up with me. I reached out to open the cover to the fuse-box in it's niche next to the driver's knee. It was an awkward movement to make. The only real way to do so with even a modicum of ease was to open the door, get down on the knees, and do the deed pretending to be a south-paw.
That was the blessing.
Getting down on the knees gave me a view of the bottom of the dash, and the steering column. A bunch of wires and an attached jack were hanging loose. Recently loosened too. The socket was nice, and shiny in sharp contrast to the dust on the wires. It's articulating pair was likewise. I connected the two, and with a mental prayer - turned the key in the ignition. Fortune favours the brave 
I was rewarded with lights on the dash, the whirr of the pump & injectors, and finally with the engine firing up.
I was rewarded with lights on the dash, the whirr of the pump & injectors, and finally with the engine firing up. The bottom line is the one word interrogative sentence - Who?
